Today was the big day! But all of my many hours of studying paid off... I passed the exam!! :) So relieved and proud. Even though I felt prepared, I was definitely nervous. Being a straight-A student back in the day, I definitely did not want to fail this test. My husband said today, "This is the first positive test result we've had in awhile." Ain't that the truth? Hopefully this is a turning point for us. :) If only you just had to study and pass a test to get pregnant, we could've had them years ago!
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By this time next week, I hope to be celebrating the fact that I passed the PMP exam. One week to go!
Happy Birthday to my mother-in-law! :) Good Evening! Just watching the 40th Annual American Music Awards and thought I'd post an update about our counseling appointment with Barbara. We were first ones to meet with Barbara - while Oliver entertained his parents in the waiting room. We actually already met with Barbara once back in 2010 - when we were going through our in-vitro cycle. But we know she meets with lots of folks, so we definitely didn't expect her to remember us. She started out just asking us to tell her about how long we've been trying and what we've already tried. So I told her how we've been trying for 5 years and gave a brief summary of the different tests, procedures, and surgeries we've tried through the years. Then we told her how we're ready to move on to this next step with the help of my sister. She asked whether we asked her or whether she offered. We told her that my sister had offered to do this years ago - before we were even really considering it. And how we figured it wouldn't come to this - but that we are at that point now where we would like some help. My husband mentioned how we live on the same street, 7 houses down. She was glad to hear that we live so close. She also asked us what scared us the most about going forward with this. I mentioned the fact that we may be a little numb to the "risk of multiples" warnings that we're getting - only because we've heard it for so many procedures and nothing has worked so far. We are aware of the risk and that we know having any more than 1 baby at once would be quite crazy. But as my husband has said many times before, "We're ready for a new set of problems." And we are sure we have no idea what we would be in store for - but we are up for the challenge and know we have lots of family/friends that would be there to help us with their love and support. My husband brought up his concern being that if things didn't work, he didn't want my sister to feel like she let us down. And Barbara said that she probably would feel like she let us down - but we just have to remember that none of us control what's going to happen. After that, we switched and went out to hang out with Oliver while Barbara met with my sister and her hubby. Their conversation with Barbara also went well. She started off her time with them talking about what a wonderful thing it was for them to want to help us out. And I think they talked about what it's been like for them (and the rest of you) to watch us go through this the past 5 years. Barbara talked to them about how open they would be with people - if she does get pregnant with our baby. I guess if they didn't tell anyone what was going on - then people would (of course) just assume that it was their baby. So then if all of a sudden she's not pregnant anymore and there's no baby - then people may wonder if the baby died or whether they gave it up for adoption, etc... But they told Barbara that they will be quite open with people about what's going on and whose baby it is. They also talked about their older son, Wendel. And she said they would just have to figure out the best way to tell him - so that he understands from the very beginning that it's not his baby brother/sister, but that it's his baby cousin. And to be prepared for strangers at the store to ask him if it's his baby brother/sister - again, assuming that it's their baby. They also talked about how the recovery after having the baby may be a little different, since she won't necessarily have a little newborn baby at home to take care of to distract her. Barbara actually recommended them planning a trip to Disney World afterwards - to give her something fun to look forward to. And my brother-in-law jumped in with an alternative suggestion, "How about some new dish towels?" ;) My sister said that it would probably be a little hard if she was never going to see the baby again - if she was doing this for a stranger that lives out-of-state. But since it will be her niece/nephew that she'll get to visit and be an aunt to for the rest of their lives - she thinks it will be fine. They also talked about the scenario of if it doesn't work - which we all know would be super-devastating. But she said it would be a little different for them - since they will be much more involved in the whole process. And we wrapped up our counseling session by meeting with Barbara all together as one big, happy family! She talked about the legal aspect and asked if we have someone who has a lot of experience with this type of legal work. I told her that we were going with a friend that found a gestational carrier template online. My sister clarified that it wasn't just a friend - but that our friend is also an attorney. And I told her that it included terms about what happens if something happens to us if she does get pregnant. We all agreed that they would keep the baby - which is THE ONLY way my brother-in-law has agreed to have any more kids. ;) Then she brought up how there are so many tests that can be done while someone is pregnant and that ultimately it's our decision as to what happens to the baby, even if my sister is carrying it. And she just wanted to make sure we had talked about that scenario. This was a scenario that we hadn't really thought to discuss - but I said that I couldn't think of any test result that would make us not want our baby. And my husband chimed in saying something along the lines of "beggars can't be choosers, right?" ;) At the end, she talked to us again about how nobody in the room (or in the building) has any direct control over the outcome of this treatment cycle. And how there's no guarantees that things will work. She just wanted us to reiterate that this amazing gift that my sister and her husband are giving us - is still and will always be an amazing gift, regardless of the results or the outcome. She compared it to a hypothetical scenario where she needed a kidney. If someone said they would donate their kidney - that would be an amazing gift! But in the end, if it turns out that her body rejected the kidney.... that's really nobody's fault and doesn't take away from the gift that was given. I know that we will forever appreciate this gift - regardless of the outcome. In closing, she said that she thinks we're all in this for the right reasons and that we are all mentally and emotionally ready for it. :) Whew..... glad we all stuck to our scripts and passed.
Donor Paperworks: After our counseling session, my sister and I went next-door with my husband to the lab where they do all of the sperm collection and embryo testing/freezing/storing/thawing. He just needed to turn in his paperwork with his physical results and all of his extensive family healthy history. There were also a few forms that the 3 of us needed to sign in the presence of them - so we got that taken care of. The next steps are for them to call my husband have him come in to give his collection - for them to test and freeze for our cycle. The Whammies have arrived! So my last period started back on 10/6 and the past week or so, I've been on the look out for my whammies. (Now believe you me, I would love for nothing more than for us to get pregnant on our own before we start this big cycle. But looking at our track record - I don't get my hopes up for the non-treatment cycles. No doubt I would be beyond pumped if I got pregnant - but figure I can just get excited if it does happen and not be uber-disappointed when it doesn't happen naturally.) My period showed up on Saturday - which in a weird way, I was kinda excited about - only because I'm excited to get our plan going. So tomorrow, I'm going to go to LabCorb to see my buddy and get my blood drawn for the whole slew of tests that are on my lab order sheet. Some of the tests are to make sure my body is still good to go for the in-vitro cycle (specifically the egg retrieval piece). And the others are to make sure I'm nice and clean - since part of me may go into my sister as an embryo. Assuming that my tests are all good then we just have to get my husband's collection/testing piece completed and get a contract signed. Then we'll be good to go to start with my next cycle. It was about 6 weeks between the start of my last two periods. So if my cycle is about the same number of days this cycle, that would put us at starting the cycle at the end of December. Pretty exciting! ;) Good night! Tonight I went to a benefit for a dear friend that passed away back in November of 1997. It was our senior year of high school. She was only 18 when she suddenly lost her life in a car accident. It's hard to believe it's been 15 years since she's been gone. I think of how much has happened in my own life since then and wonder what she would be doing these days. I'm sure she'd be doing some pretty amazing things and would probably be married with a few kiddos.
Whenever I think how unfair it is that we've had to work so hard to try to be parents, I think of Casey. And it helps put things in perspective and makes me focus on all of the good in my life. Each day is a gift - so let's all do our best to try to make sure our loved ones know how much they mean to us. Casey, I hope you know how much our friendship meant to me. I'll never forget all thr good times we shared. Loved seeing your family tonight - keeping in touch with them helps me feel closer to you. And although I didn't win the 50/50 raffle (which you know I would've donated back), we did win a set of cute little pre-lit Christmas trees. They will be our "Casey Christmas trees." :) I also told your mom about our baby plans and she's super excited! She said she thinks I'll be a great mom. I think you would've made a great mom, too. I miss you! Just wanted to show you a little snippet of the type of info my hubby had to fill out since he's considered a donor in the gestational carrier scenario. Kinda silly - but we gotta do what we gotta do, right? Counseling begins in T-minus 1 hour and 19 minutes!!!
Me and 3 of my favorite Mamas Just wanted to give you all a quick update on this week's activities. But first, I must shout-out a happy birthday to my own mama. She's turning 65 today and I enjoyed chatting with the birthday girl tonight. We called and left her a voicemail and when she called us back, she sang "happy birthday" to herself to us. Which was adorable and quite ironic - because although I'm quite obsessed with my birthday, she really isn't. The picture I'm sharing tonight is from Cedar Point (America's Rockin Roller Coast) - where we made a lot of memories as a family growing up. My mom is the gorgeous lady infront, my sister is on the left, I'm on the right and I presume you all know Mama Bear. Someday I hope to join the other 3 in the photo in the ranks of motherhood. :)
Wamba Land is Open for Business! You'll be happy to hear that my sister's appointment with Dr. Williams yesterday went well. She seemed to know what to expect - Dr. Williams checked "under the hood" to make sure that there were no remnants from her previous pregnancies. I was referring to this step as checking to make sure Wendel & Oliver didn't leave any tape or thumbtacks in the walls of her womb when they checked out. ;) He also measured her uterus so he knows how far back to transfer the embryos. Some of you may recall, that during my previous transfers - they always had trouble getting around some turn of sorts. But he did mention that she had a "straight shot" - which can't hurt, right? And after the checks, she thought it was cute that he asked, "Are we still friends?" - since that's something he's said to me in the past as well. (FYI - My husband and I decided that we needed to come up with a nickname for my sister's womb. And we decided on "Wamba Land" - after the nursery/childcare section of our friends' church.) Two Sticks for the Price of One: She also had her blood tests done yesterday - which was a little more eventful than her time with Dr. Williams. The lab tech girl had trouble finding a good vein - but finally found it, drew one vial of blood, and sent my sister on her way. Unfortunately, she ended up having to flag down my sister while she was walking to her car. The girl apparently misunderstood the directions from the guy and didn't realize that she needed to draw 3 vials of blood for all of the tests. Lucky for them, my sister was a good sport about it. The girl tried to find another vein to use, but then punted to the guy. My sister likes to watch the needle go in ( just like me) - but after he was rooting around in her arm, he asked her to look away because he was having "stage fright" - lol. She turned away and said it still took him another minute, but eventually he did find one and got the other 2 vials of blood. They were both very apologetic to my sister - but she wasn't upset and just apologized for her not-so-great veins. And she got a call with her test results and she passed - so thankfully, our cycle won't be stopped on account of my sister having any crazy STDs. Whew! ;) No Testing for Jimmy! While my sister was checking out with McKenzie after her appointment with Dr. Williams, she mentioned that we didn't have any lab request sheets for her husband's blood tests. McKenzie let her know that the blood tests for her husband were option - only if the intended parents (that's us) require it. And she said that typically as long as the gestational carrier's blood tests come back okay - then we can assume that their husband's test results would be good as well. So after long debate (not really) - we decided to pass on the blood tests for our brother-in-law. You're welcome, Jimmy! ;) Contract Review: My IVF Buddy also sent us back a copy of the contract for us to review. We will have to find some time for the 4 of us to review it and see what we want to change or take out. She also said that she can represent us and that her partner is willing to represent my sister and her husband. Yay!! :) To save them some time, I think the 4 of us (the intended parents, the gestational carrier, and the gestational carrier's husband) will all sit down to review the contract and figure out what we need to change or take out. Then we can set-up some time to review with my IVF Buddy, finalize it, and then do whatever we need to do to make it official. Six 2013 Babies! Just wanted to end tonight's blog on a super-happy note with some baby updates from our friends and family! We found out that my one cousin is going to have a baby girl and that one of our good friends is going to have another boy. So the 2013 baby count is tied at one girl to one boy, so far. My other cousin isn't finding out ahead of time - so she can definitely help to break the tie in the spring. We also found out that another friend is pregnant with her 4th child - with 3 boys already, I guess the chances are pretty high that it will be another boy. But I'm going to hope for a girl for them - though I'm sure a boy would be much easier! And this week, we found out that the real Wamba Land (not my sister's womb) is going to have to be taking care of the new big sister-to-be and her twin siblings that are due in May! So for 2013 - we know of at least 6 babies on the way and the year hasn't even started yet. Tomorrow morning is our big counseling appointment with Barbara. Our 18 month old nephew, Oliver, is going with us, too. We're going to take turns watching him while we meet with Barabara as couples individually. But he'll be in there with us for the group session. I can't wait to hear him express his feelings about the whole thing. I'm guessing he may say "Bye" or "Hi" or "Uh-huh." :) Happy Veteran's Day! (Copied from Biz) Good Evening! I hope you all enjoyed the rest of my birthday month and that you had a Happy Halloween! And Happy Veteran's Day to all of the veterans out there - including my dad.
I can't believe that it's been almost a month since I have blogged. I do appreciate those that have checked in throughout this time and I apologize for disappointing you with no updates. But I wanted to make sure I blogged this weekend and since it is now 10:16pm (Happy Birthday, Wendel) on a Sunday night - I'm going to actually do it. Legal Mumbo Jumbo: After we got my sister and her husband introduced to Dr. Williams and the ball rolling with them last month, I started looking into figuring out who could do the legal work associated with our gestational carrier plans. We knew from talking to Dr. Williams and staff that we would need a contract between us - before they would start the treatment cycle. They gave us a couple attorneys to call - Dr. Williams recommended a lady and Nancy recommended another guy. Thinking that Nancy may be more in touch with the patients' experiences, I called the guy. He was very nice and explained the process. Definitely sounds like he's done this many times and he mentioned he had a template he'd give us - that would have everything in it and then we could take out and change whatever we wanted. Then if my sister gets pregnant, then we'd have to have him get a "Parental Action Form" ready to be filed when the baby is born to get our names on the birth certificate from the state. The contract was going to cost us $2500 and the Parental Action Form was going to be $2500 - so we were looking at $6500. Not really knowing what to expect (though it did seem a little high) - my initial response was more along the lines of "whatever it's going to take" and thinking that if she did get pregnant we'd be happy to be paying the $3500. This lawyer emailed me a few documents right away - along with an article about him being the "Adoption Angel. My husband's initial thoughts were that $6K seemed a little high for the legal formalities required between the 4 of us. He looked into his company's benefits to see what kind of legal assistance they provided - so smart! I looked into mine as well and we learned that my legal benefits (free consultation & 25% off legal fees) were included as part of our Employee Assistance Program. I mean, 25% off $6K is a big deal. So I called the EAP line and was connected with another local attorney. She was also very nice and also up-front in that she had never dealt with gestational carrier contracts before. She was aware of the difference between traditional surrogacy, but wanted to do some "homework" to see what the Delaware County Courts would require (since that's the county where we live). (Side note: When I was talking to the "Adoption Angel" - he seemed more concerned about where my sister was going to deliver, which doesn't make any sense - because she could deliver the baby out-of-state and that wouldn't matter since we technically live in Ohio.) She explained that it's always best to find out what the courts need, so you don't prepare all of the documents and find out we're missing something. She was already winning more points on "thoroughness" from me. A few days later she called me to let me know that the Delaware County Courts had never had this scenario and didn't know what they would require. The court administrator was going to talk to the judge and get back to her. She called me back a few days later saying that the Delaware County Courts suggested that she talk to the one attorney in Franklin County that had a similar case. She had reached out to the other attorney (with gestational carrier experience in Franklin County). The "other attorney" offered to represent my sister and let the "thorough attorney" represent us. A very gracious offer - but of course the 25% legal fee discount wouldn't apply to the "other attorney" - because that's not who my company hooked me up with. After talking the "Adoption Angel" and the "thorough attorney," I reached out to my IVF Buddy- who happens to practice immigration law. I gave her the run-down on my encounters with the two attorneys thus far and her immediate reaction was that the $6K was way too high! It would be different if we were using a stranger, but she agreed that since it's my sister - the legal contracts are really just a formality. She offered to look into it and see what she could find out from some of her other friends from law school. Last week, she sent us a contract template that she found online for gestational carriers - we reviewed it and it looked pretty thorough. So next steps are for her secretary to type it up and then we will all meet to review it. We will need separate representation for us and for my sister - we may see if my IVF Buddy's partner can represent one of us. Or we have some other lawyer friends that may be willing to help out as well. And Elphie suggested that I look up the "Parental Action Form" online and I found a copy that looked quite basic and easy to fill out - not sure why it costs $3500 for the "Adoption Angel" to fill out. ;) Either way, we'll figure it out and I'm glad that we have good friends to help us through this piece of it. I will definitely be providing the doctor's office with a little feedback about the whole legal aspect of it all. I'm sure many people would've followed the path of my initial response of "whatever it takes" and that there's no price tag on becoming parents. And since the recommendations came from the doctor's office - you would hope you're getting the best deal or at least a good deal. I will also definitely be recommending that they tell other patients to check and see what legal benefits their company may offer. If my husband hadn't thought of it, it never would've crossed my mind. Tests, Tests, & More Tests: We knew that my sister and her husband would have to go through blood tests to make sure they were healthy and didn't have any crazy STDs. I think everyone understands why my sister would need to get tested - since she could be carrying our baby and they need to make sure it's a safe and happy place. Some people have asked why her husband would need to get tested - since he's not really involved in the process. The reason that he has to get tested is because if she does get pregnant - they may decide to have sex (I hope anyway), so we need to make sure he's clean as well. :) In addition to the blood tests, my sister needs to also have a SHG (sonohysterogram) and sounding (to measure her uterus). Some of her test have to be done at a certain time of her cycle. But her friend appeared last week and so she's going in on Tuesday of this week for all of her blood tests and the "under-the-hood" checks as well. I don't think her husband's blood tests depend on his cycle (hee, hee), so we'll have to see when he can get his test scheduled. I kinda figured my husband would have to go through blood tests to make sure his boys would be okay to be part of the embryo that goes into my sister. We learned that even though they're not directly injecting her with his sperm, he has to be treated like he is a sperm donor for the gestational carrier procedure. As you can imagine, the donor tests are quite extensive - requiring a full physical by a doctor (with a very specific list of items that they are required to check and/or do) along with a lot of paperwork regarding his family history - asking all sorts of questions about physical attributes (eye color, height, etc...) and medical history for himself, his parents, his siblings, and his grandparents. Definitely more than we figured - but he's had a good attitude about it and thankfully they crossed out the essay parts of the form about "Why you want to be a donor." He actually had his physical completed already and passed with flying colors. Another thing we learned is that unlike our previous treatments (in-vitro and inseminations) - my husband won't be giving his collection of sperm the day of the procedure. Since he's being treated as a donor - he has to give his collection in advance so that they can do testing on the actual sperm before they combine them with my eggs and create the embryos. There is obviously cost associated with all of this extra testing on him - so we've all joked about if only he and my sister were "regular partners" - then we could be saving so much money. ;) When Nancy called to tell me about this whole process for my husband - she did say that they are required. So whenever he schedules his collection day - his part in the whole process will be done and his pre-approved and pre-tested sperm will be stored until they are needed. As for me, since I'm my sister's sister - I don't have to go through any tests. Just kidding, of course! :) I have to get my blood drawn, so they can do a bunch of tests to make sure I'm safe (to protect my sister) and to make sure I'm in good health to go through the in-vitro process (because they need to get eggs from me). My tests also depend on my cycle - so I'm just waiting for my period to show up. (FYI - my period that was MIA for awhile finally did show up in early October. I don't know if I ever mentioned that on the blog - but figured I should to be clear. I know there may be some of you that were staying hopefully like my momma - hoping that maybe a baby was growing inside me despite the negative blood test. I do appreciate your optimism!) Counseling: As I mentioned before, the doctor's office does recommend counseling for all of us before going through something like this. My husband and I met with Barbara before we did in-vitro - she was nice and I think that probably some of what she said helped us through. But my husband thinks that we would've been fine no matter what. I like to tease him by saying that "maybe our lives would be in shambles right now - had we not talked to her." Since he wasn't thrilled at the thought of another counseling session - our plan was to graciously pass on the counseling and just let my sister and her husband go through it. When my sister called to set-up the appointment - Barbara indicated that she really thinks it would be best for us to all meet with her. She proposed that she meet with them for 20 minutes, us for 20 minutes, and then do a group session at the end. So that's our new plan and we're meeting with her on Thursday morning. Should be interesting! ;) Studying, studying, & more studying! So the upcoming blood tests that I will have to get done are the least of my testing worries these days. I'm in the process of studying for a Project Manager Professional (PMP) certification exam. To make a long story short - my original plan was to put this PMP certification as a goal for next year or beyond. At the end of September, our company had some last-minute openings in a PMP Bootcamp class - so my manager recommended that I take it to just get a feel for how the course/exam will be for future reference. During the 3 day course, I felt like I really learned the information and decided that I might as well try to get the certification this year instead of next year. Most people study the book (the PMBOK) and then take a training course, then take the exam. I sat through the course without reading the book - but I actually think having an understanding of the big picture (from the training class) is helping me as I go through the PMBOK. So in the majority of my spare time since I got my PMBOK on 10/8 - I've been studying for the exam. It is a multiple choice test with 200 questions - but it is a very tough exam with a 60% fail rate. I learn by taking notes, so I've been basically re-writing the PMBOK in my own words through my studies. The training class also gave us a workbook that goes along with the material with short-answer form questions, matching exercises, fill in the blank, and then 30 multiple choice questions for each chapter. I was very indecisive and hesitant to schedule the exam - but knew that I wanted to get it done before the holidays. Unfortunately, I waited too long and the testing seats booked up - so now my exam is scheduled for the Tuesday after Thanksgiving. I am happy to have some extra time to study - but was hoping to get it done before Thanksgiving. The good and kinda weird thing is that I do find the content interesting - so the time I am studying is very productive. I don't find myself having to re-read sections because I'm bored or anything. I was always a good student growing up - so when I started studying, the idea of studying again sounded kinda fun. But I am glad that it is only a temporary thing and look forward to passing the test and ending my studying on 11/27. 16 more days!! You may be wondering why I chose to put myself through this - but I think I decided to do it for two main reasons. #1 - This is another one of those things in life that I can control - I can study and prepare and pass this test. I have always been a good student - but it has been years since I've taken any type of exam like this. But it's still a professional goal that I have created for myself and one that I plan to achieve. And reason #2 is because I'm hopeful that 2013 will be the year that our dreams come true. And knowing the many hours of studying required for this exam, I figured it would be better to get this done before our treatment cycle starts and before any of our little babies arrive. :) Hopefully, it won't be long before we get to experience all of the joys of parenthood - knowing that it's not all fun and games, of course. At the end of a recent "Modern Family" episode - Gloria (who is pregnant in the show) said, "Making a baby is the easy part; everything that comes after is the hard part." Now trust me, I definitely don't think that making babies is as easy as it is for many others. But at the end of the day (even with everything we've been through and will continue to go through until we become parents), I know that there will be much harder challenges that we will face as parents. But we are definitely ready to start dealing with the many joys and challenges of being a parent - instead of dealing with the challenges of being a parent in-waiting. Well, it's 11:42pm now - so I should probably go to bed. I took a break from studying around 10pm and then decided to do some blogging. I always blog for longer than I plan - but in my defense tonight, I did have a lot of updates to share. I promise not to go too long between blog posts again. Oh, and congrats to the Bengals on their win - WHO DEY!?!? |