Our Appointment with Dr. Williams: So as I mentioned before, we met with Dr. Williams about a month ago (March 23rd) to get his recommendations for our next step. Going into the appointment, we weren't really sure what our next steps were going to be. What we did know was that we weren't really ready to jump into a full round of in-vitro again as we're still a little gun-shy from last year. It was good to see Dr. Williams again. We reviewed and talked through our journey thus far - all of the different tests, surgeries, and fertility procedures that we've tried. At the end of the day, we're still considered "unexplained infertility" in Dr. Williams' book - which means that there's still no reason why it couldn't happen. And while that's comforting to know - it's still frustrating to not have a reason why it hasn't worked.
We also talked about our perfect-on-paper in-vitro cycle. For that cycle, we had our embryos - so everything was lined up, we just needed an embryo to attach to start a pregnancy. I asked if there are any other tests they could do on me to figure out why I didn't get pregnant with the embryos that were transferred. He said they've really done all tests on me and unfortunately that in-vitro rounds don't always take. Dr. Williams has told us before that you have the same chances of in-vitro working for the first 5 rounds that you try. During this appointment I asked if the frozen embryo transfer cycle counted as another attempt - but he said that one doesn't count. So according to that stat, we still have just as good of a chance as before for 4 more rounds. But trust me - we'll never get to 4 more rounds - physically I can handle all the shots and everything - but financially/emotionally, I'm just not sure that we'd be up for that. Not to say that we wouldn't ever try at least one more round - but we're just not ready right now to take that kind of a leap of faith again.
We also brought up surrogacy to Dr. Williams to see if it's something they do at their office and see what he thought about us going that route. Many of you know how close my sister and I are - she actually volunteered a year ago to carry a baby for us! She has two healthy boys - one that is about 3.5 years old and one that will be 1 next month! Both of her pregnancies were pretty easy and she was one of those girls that loved being pregnant. We are very touched that she's willing to do this for us and have told her that we will let her know if/when we get to that point. Thanks, Shuri! :) We're not quite there yet - but just wanted to put it out on the table as it's not something we had discussed with him before.
- Double Sister Surrogacy! On a related note, back in February - one of my friends sent me a link to a blog about another couple going through their own infertility struggles that was going to be on the TODAY show the next day. We recorded the show and watched it... such a sweet story. Dan and Tanya found out that she could conceive, but couldn't carry the baby to term. She happened to have a few very fertile sisters and two of them offered to be surrogates for her. Such a wonderful gift! They ended up transferring embryos into both sisters and BOTH are pregnant!! It looks like their first little daughter arrived this month and their baby boy is due in July. Anyway, here is their blog site - if you'd like to follow along. I haven't had a chance to read through it - but when things settle down, I definitely will be. They live in Cincinnati - so that at least gives me hope that legally my sister could carry a baby for me in the state of Ohio. :) Thanks for sharing, Davina!
Our Plan: As we were talking, Dr. Williams said that he could tell based on our body language that we aren't ready for another full in-vitro cycle. For any infertility procedure - you have to be emotionally, physically, and financially ready. And we're just not there for in-vitro at this point. Below is our current plan of attack regarding what we are ready to try....
- Since some of my original blood tests were done over 3 years ago (my how time flies), Dr. Williams wanted to re-order a few more blood tests. He also thought it would be good for me to repeat the HSG test - which is the "blue dye" test where they check to make sure the fallopian tubes are still open. Doing this would not only confirm that my tubes are still open - but they also say that this test increases your chances for pregnancy for the next 3-4 months. Which makes sense, since it's kinda like flushing out the pipes in a way. So the first order of business was for me to have the blood tests and the "blue dye" test during my next cycle.
- We also agreed that we would be willing to try a round of Clomid coupled with IUI (artificial insemination). We actually did 2 rounds of IUI back in 2010 - so it's something we've done before. This treatment isn't too expensive and only requires a few shots/appointments - we think we can definitely handle that at this point. What will be different this time around? I think the following 3 factors may help things work in our favor this time around. 1) I will have just done the "blue dye" test which in theory should improve our chances. 2) My husband had his varicocele surgery, which can only help things. 3) And Dr. Williams said that they can put a special medium in the collection cup that will help improve the collection. Not sure why they wouldn't use this special medium (that we just heard about) EVERY time... but that's just me... :)
- We all know that step 2 is going to result in a pregnancy (positive thinking) - but just in case it doesn't.... we have the next step of our plan defined. If the IUI doesn't work - we are going to try fertility drugs coupled with IUI (artificial insemination). This is the procedure that most couples try before moving onto in-vitro, but we actually skipped over it and went straight to in-vitro. Back then, we opted for in-vitro since in-vitro ensures that the eggs/sperm are united - whereas with this being an IUI, the sperm still has to find the eggs. Similarly to IVF, for this procedure I would need to take fertility drugs to increase my follicles and allow me to create more eggs. With in-vitro, they harvest the eggs and control how many are fertilized and ultimately, how many are transferred. Since this procedure involves an artificial insemination - they will monitor me closely to make sure I don't have too many eggs up there. The one big risk of this procedure is the unknown regarding how many embryos/babies could possibly result. Not having much luck thus far, it's hard to think that we could end up in a situation where I'm pregnant with too many babies - but it is a risk that we are willing to accept at this point. And by "too many babies" - I don't mean that we wouldn't welcome any and all babies. I know twins or triplets would be a lot of work - but we are up for the challenge. My concern is more about me potentially getting pregnant with multiples and then having issues that may result in one or all babies not surviving the pregnancy. Anyway, this procedure is a little more expensive than Clomid/IUI - but definitely not as expensive as IVF since there's no egg retrieval or transfer of embryos. I have had some friends of friends that have had luck getting pregnant and having babies with this method - so we will see if it works for us!
So... that's our plan. Hopefully you all approve and are onboard to joining us as our journey continues. Even though there are no guarantees, it feels good to have a plan.
Hello, Period.... Earlier this month, I had to travel to my company's office outside of Atlanta for an off-site meeting with my new team. It was nice to meet some of the other folks on my team and be able to focus on my new role. For some reason, my period is all about showing up while I'm away from home. Last month it showed up when I was in Guam and this month it showed up during my work trip. It showed up on a Thursday (which is considered Day 1 of the cycle) and I flew home that night. The blood tests that Dr. Williams ordered for me are supposed to be done on Day 2 or 3 - which would've been Friday/Saturday of that week. But I actually had a girls weekend planned for that weekend and had an early flight on Friday to Chicago that I had to catch. I talked to Dr. Williams' nurses and they indicated that I could still try to do the "blue dye" test this cycle, even if I couldn't do the blood tests. Based on my cycle start date, she said we could schedule the "blue dye" test for 1PM on Tuesday, April 17th. Even though baby-making is much more important than work, I had a big project going live on the 19th and had some big meetings scheduled for the 17th. Trying to figure out how to get them covered would've stressed me out even more, so I figured it might be best to just wait until next cycle when things will hopefully calm down at work. So... next cycle (if my period shows up again), I will try to get the blood tests and "blue dye" test done. And I promise not to let work get in the way this time. Even though we couldn't do any of the tests, we decided to just try a round of Clomid again this cycle.
While we were at an improv show on Saturday night, I found out that I have yet another volunteer willing to be a surrogate for us. One of my friends told me that she and her husband have discussed and they are both onboard for her to carry our baby for us someday. I'm not much of a crier, but I did tear up a little bit when I heard her offer - it's just such an unbelievable gift to offer someone. Thank you, LNM! :) I explained to my friend about the 2 types of surrogacy and assured her that we would only opt for the gestational carrier route. But jokingly, I told her to go tell her husband that we accepted their offer and that she was going to be inseminated with my husband's sperm. Hee, hee! ;) When I was telling my sister about the offer, she told me that I actually have a few other volunteers as well. She was apparently out to dinner with a bunch of our other girlfriends that weekend and they started talking about our situation. My sister mentioned that she would be willing to be a surrogate for us and she said that the whole table practically chimed in saying that they would totally do it for us as well. Words can't describe how blessed we are to have so many ladies (fertile ladies, no less) that would be willing to make such a sacrifice for us to become parents. We are definitely feeling the love!
In closing, I would like to ask everyone to please send positive thoughts and prayers for Jeremy's dad as he undergoes bypass surgery this morning at 7:30AM EST. We will be keeping the entire Frase family in our thoughts/prayers tomorrow as we wait for the good news!
"God Gave Me You" sung by Blake Shelton
Cause God gave me you for the ups and downs
God gave me you for the days of doubt
And for when I think I lost my way
There are no words here left to say, it's true
God gave me you.