We weren't expecting it to be positive, so it wasn't a huge shock to us. I feel like others may have had their hopes up - but hopefully no one is too disappointed. Wish I could've recorded the conversation I had with my mom this afternoon. She had a hard time believing I'm not pregnant. ;) But we are definitely excited to move forward with our plan for 2013. Next step is for my sister (and probably her hubby) to meet with Dr. Williams. :)
My team at work decided a few months back to do this corporate 5k. I was waiting to start my training until we found out the result of the last cycle. Getting my period last month was my "green" light to start running! Since I don't have much control over this baby making thing, it has been nice to have something I can control - like training for a 5K. :) I'm proud of myself for getting out there and running a couple times each week. And proud that I logged about 30 miles before the race from Aug 12th until Sept 11th.
The corporate 5k was tonight in Atlanta and it was really fun! My friend (J-Lo) ran with me - even though she's a much faster runner than me. There were so many people doing the race - we were dodging people and bobbing/weaving for the first 1.5 miles. There were 4 hills in the race - the first two weren't bad. But the 3rd one slowed me down. I just kept pushing through & having J-Lo in front helped. (Fyi - my neighborhood is much flatter than Atlanta.) The race ended with the 4th hill as we ran over the bridge towards the Olympic rings. I think my strong "kick" had a lot to do with those rings. We finished in a little over 32 minutes - so I was proud of keeping it close to a 10 minute mile pace. Our manager also ran the race - he kept up with us for the first half, but the hills got him as well. A great team-building activity!!
My next goal is to finish a 5K in under 30 minutes. I've only done that once before and I think it was a couple years ago. Wish me luck!!
We had a fun weekend with family on Friday night, neighbors on Saturday at our block party, and a great visit with friends on Sunday! I took another home pregnancy test on Saturday morning, but it was negative again. And much to my surprise, still no whammies... very odd. I'm starting to think I may have just skipped a period. Either way, I'm going in for the blood test on Wednesday morning.
Thanks to my hubby & my dad for all of their HARD WORK on our yard today! We will have a beautiful lawn in the spring - getting it all ready for the kids! ;) Good night!!
Good Evening! I apologize for the delayed update on our doctor's update - it looks like lots of folks have been checking the blog today. We do appreciate you all checking in to see how we're doing. So today's appointment couldn't have gone any better - even if we had to wait a little bit before Dr. Williams was ready to see us. ;)
Dr. Williams started off our meetings like always - shaking our hands and telling us how he's sorry that the last treatment didn't work. We sat down and he started going through the details of the last cycle and some of our other treatments we've tried. He said that even though nothing has worked yet, based on what's on paper - he still thinks that a cycle of in-vitro would be what he would recommend for us.
Then he asked us, "What are you all thinking?" And I responded with, "I just can't get pregnant..." He agreed that even though they haven't found a reason why - it is understandable that we would feel that way. Then I brought up my sister and her willingness to be a gestational carrier for us. And how the physical part of going through in-vitro is not the problem at all - but that I just don't think I could take it if we did another cycle of in-vitro and it didn't work again. I also told him that I've accepted the fact that I won't be pregnant and that I'm fine with someone else carrying our babies for us. He agreed that the emotional part of everything is a huge factor and didn't really push back at all. And he said that we do make "beautiful embryos" and that although there would be additional costs associated with having me sister be a part of it, it's not that much more in the whole scheme of things. He asked if my sister lived in-town and my husband responded with, "Yes, 7 houses down the street."
Gestational Carrier (GC): Once we were all on the same page, we got into the logistics of the whole gestational carrier route. As we though, both my sister and I would require shots throughout the cycle. I would need them to produce the eggs for the retrieval and she would need them to prepare her body for the embryo transfer. We were REALLY happy to hear that they would do a fresh transfer of the embryos into her. (Our concern was that if we had to freeze the embryos that there could be issues with them surviving the thaw - like with what happened during our frozen embryo transfer where they had to thaw 6 embryos to get 2 good ones to transfer.) I asked whether her insurance would cover her pregnancy costs and he said that they will - because she's pregnant and that they cover her. Which I was glad to hear and kinda what we were figuring - since insurance companies don't really make ladies prove that they're pregnant with their own babies. He did say that we would need to meet with a lawyer to draw up a contract - which he said within families, the whole legal process is pretty quick. He gave us some recommended lawyers in the area and said that they would make it so that there would be no adoption, our names would just be on the birth certificate from the beginning. We talked a little bit about how many embryos he would transfer - sounds like he would be willing to transfer 2 embryos into her, but he did say that it's ultimately her decision as to how many we can transfer - which makes perfect sense.
Double Transfer: As we were talking, I forget exactly when - but Dr. Williams brought up something that completely shocked me. He mentioned that depending on how many embryos we get and the quality of them, we may want to consider putting some embryos in me. I was like, "You mean- put some in me and put some in my sister?" And he said, "Yes - we could do that." My face was priceless, I'm sure. But we were both pretty excited to hear that - especially since we were thinking he may push back on the idea of using my sister. Never thought that he would suggest that. Although we haven't decided yet what we will do - it is nice to know that we have that option. We know that we 100% want to use my sister's womb first - so she would definitely get the embryos first. So we can wait and make it a game-time decision as to whether we want to transfer some into me. Of course, if we go that route - we need to accept the risk of having multiple babies very close in age. If we transfer two embryos into each of us - then that could potentially be four babies. After trying to have babies so long - it's hard to imagine that would happen to us. But it is a risk we would be willing to take. And since we are so close - it's hard not to get excited about the thought of both of us being pregnant with our babies. We would like to have more than one baby - so receiving them all in one year doesn't sound too bad, after our long wait. Dr. Williams mentioned a couple times that we could put one in my sister and two in me. The good news is that we have plenty of time to think this through.
Next Steps for the GC Plan: So you may be wondering - now what?!?! The next step is for my sister to meet with Dr. Williams. He told us that he is going to be her doctor, too. And will be looking out for her best interest in all of this as well. She actually did meet him briefly back in 2010 when I had my laparoscopy. Throughout the past few treatments she has said on multiple occasions that she'd love to just go talk to him and pick his brain. So now she will get her chance. :) The main purpose of that meeting is to make sure that she knows what she's getting into and talk her through the details of the cycle. Assuming she's still on board after that - then we all need to meet with their counselor, Barbara, to make sure we're all emotionally ready for this roller coaster ride. We will meet with the counselor separately - them together and then us. We met with Barbara prior to our in-vitro cycle and had a nice chat with her then. Assuming everyone is still onboard after that, then we will start the pre-cycle testing. Dr. Williams referred to as forensic STD testing on all 4 of us - to make sure we're all clean and good to go. At some point we will also have to give them a copy of the contract that we work out with the lawyer - not sure if that has to happen before the testing or not. And I'm pretty sure that my husband and I will need to put down a deposit for the treatment cycle. ;) After all that is completed, then we will have the green light for the in-vitro cycle - with the plans to transfer the embryos into my sister and possibly even me. Right now, we're thinking that we would start the in-vitro cycle at the end of December or early January. Such a crazy and exciting plan!!
Still No Whammies! It's really weird - but my period has still yet to show up. I had some really light spotting on the day of my husband's cousin's wedding and I thought that was the start of the period. But it never turned into a full period - which is odd, I'm normally like clock-work. Anyway, I told Dr. Williams that I seem to be quite a few days late - but that my test earlier this week was negative. He said it was good that I took a test and that if it doesn't show up by next week that I should do a blood test. Nancy gave me a lab order form for the beta test - she was telling me to go on Wed/Thurs of next week, then said, "Oh, just go whenever you want." She probably thinks I was going to go that day - but you all know how weird I am about waiting. One of my friends told me it's not weird, I'm just patient. ;) My plan is to go on Wednesday, if I don't get my period by then. I'm honestly not expecting to be pregnant - just hard to believe that after all this, that we would get pregnant on our own. Of course, I would be thrilled if that were the case - but I'm not holding my breath. For the in-vitro and frozen embryo transfers, I worked from home on the days of the best test - because I didn't want to break-down at work if it was negative. But I will plan to go into work and will be fine with the negative news. I may just break-down if by some miracle it's actually positive. So I'll keep you all posted - but don't get your hopes up too high, okay?
Anyway, that's how our appointment went today. :) We are really excited... I think I'm probably a little more excited that I should be. Hopefully the counselor will help to bring my expectations down to more acceptable levels - but I'm REALLY excited about 2013. I've been trying to not set deadlines on our baby-making plans, but I really think that 2013 will be our year to become parents. We are so lucky to have an amazing gestational carrier that is onboard with our plan. And even though I thought my chances of getting pregnant were behind us, it is kinda nice to think that I may get to experience it. Oh, and just like we predicted before our appointment - Nancy commented on my hair again, saying how cute it is. Hee, hee! ;)
In closing, I'd like to share this song that we heard down in Georgia last weekend. We had a lovely weekend with Josclyn and her parents and heard this song at their church. I ended up buying the church's CD this week on iTunes. Hope you enjoy the lyrics and the song if you'd like to hear it. Good night! :)
You are light in the darkness, You are hope for the hopeless, You are the God who never fails! You are soul of compassion, You are love everlasting, You are the God who never fails! And through it all, your love never changes. Through it all, there's nothing to fear.
Your name we're lifting higher, Your glory, our desire, Your praise we'll sing forever, Our Great God! Our Great God!
...but no positive pregnancy test either! That's right - can you believe I actually took a test? ;) It is now about 10 days late. But if history repeats itself, now that I took a test - it will probably show up tomorrow. Anniewho, we will just wait & see - still really excited for our appointment tomorrow morning!!
Happy Birthday to the Biz & Z-man & DD!! :) And Happy Friday Eve to everyone else!!
So the monthly appearance by my whammies appears to be a little late this month. I think the delay may be due to all of my running lately - but my husband said that it's not like I've been running marathons or anything. ;) Just thought I'd share this bit of info with my faithful blog followers. How ironic would it be? We haven't cancelled our Friday appointment or anything, of course. I'm sure the whammies will pop up later this week.
Happy Birthday to my Aunt Pat and Happy Anniversary to Lily & Roe!! :) Hugs and love to you three!
First of all, I definitely want to acknowledge today being the 11th anniversary of 9/11. It's still crazy to think it was 11 years ago - none of us will ever forget where we were on that day. It was my senior year of college and I remember people talking about the World Trade Center. To be honest, I didn't know exactly where the twin towers were - but I definitely learned that day. I remember watching all of the news coverage at home with my friends. My dad was flying back from Japan that day and his plane was diverted to Canada. My mom was pretty shook up when we couldn't get in contact with him. My husband (though he wasn't my husband yet then of course) was in Charlotte and the downtown buildings were evacuated because they weren't sure if Charlotte would get attacked as well. Prayers to those that lost loved ones on that day - whether they were victims of the attack or those attempting to save others.
This past weekend my husband and I were talking about our next steps and we agreed that we were both ready to set-up our follow-up appointment with Dr. Williams. We want to talk to Dr. Williams about doing another round of in-vitro to get more embryos. But instead of having them transferred into me, we want them transferred into my sister in the hopes that she can be our gestational carrier. We briefly discussed this with Dr. Williams back in March - he wasn't giving up on us and didn't think we were "there yet." I'm not sure if he'll try to persuade us to try some more on our own or not. But emotionally, I don't know that I can handle another heartbreak if we transfer more embryos into me and get the negative test result again.
As I've mentioned before on the blog, my sister has so graciously offered to be our gestational carrier. (I know others have offered as well, but if we used you - my sister might be REALLY jealous. ;) But we still appreciate your offers as well.) We are really blessed to have this opportunity and are lucky that my sister's husband is supportive of it as well. Even though we know that they were both onboard, I still felt like I should reach out to them before we scheduled this follow-up with Dr. Williams - to be 100% sure they are okay with it...
Good Morning,
We are ready to schedule our follow-up with Dr. Williams and talk to him about doing another round of in-vitro and having Chrissy as our gestational carrier. But before we do, just wanted to make sure that Chrissy & Jimmy are 110% onboard with this plan. We know it’s a big commitment and we appreciate you guys even considering doing this for us. But if you have any doubts or concerns, we definitely understand. Let us know either way.
Love ya, Annie
My sister's response was, "No brainer. Love you!"
Her husband's response was, "I agree wholeheartedly."
Seriously.... how lucky are we?!?!? So with their responses, we are officially a "go" for the gestational carrier route - which is really quite exciting! :) Ever since the last cycle and having accepted the fact that I may never get pregnant, I do kinda feel like a little pressure has been lifted off of me. I know that we will love and accept our children no matter how they are brought into our lives. But being able to watch our little baby grow in my sister's tummy just down the street - would be a pretty special way to start a family.
In other baby news, our extended family on my dad's side of the family is growing by at least two more babies in 2013! :) :) I received a phone call on Thursday (during a jog) from my younger cousin that she and her hubby are expecting their first baby in March! Even though she's excited, she also expressed how she was sad and wished it was me instead. I assured her that we were thrilled for them and that as long as she didn't steal the baby from my body - we're cool. :) Then this past Sunday night, I got a call (at 10:10pm no less) from my older cousin. She told me that she and her husband are expecting Baby #2 - also in March! Since she already has one adorable baby girl (who turned 1 on Sept 7th - Happy Birthday, Carly!!) - she's pretty much an expert at telling us she's pregnant. ;) She did tell me that "the universe doesn't make any sense" - in case I was wondering. Anniewho, very excited for the growing family and hopeful that perhaps Baby Johnston will join them in the family's 2013 crew. I think they could really give the 2011'ers a run for their money - so watch out Cain, Oliver, and Carly. :)
2012 was the year of the Rancics so maybe 2013 will be the year of the Johnstons! Stay tuned - we meet with Dr. Williams on Friday, September 21st. 10 more days! And Happy 2nd Anniversary today to Jony or Tenny (whichever your prefer). :)
Happy Labor Day!! Hope everyone had a nice long weekend. We went to my husband's hometown this weekend. Good times with the family and the big Sellman reunion was yesterday. Today I took my niece & nephew to the movies while the rest of the family went golfing. They wanted to see "The Odd Life of Timothy Green." I had seen previews for it earlier this year and did want to see it as I knew it had some infertility themes in it. And even though I'm not usually one to cry at the movies, this movie definitely had me crying more than once. Not like sobbing crying, just tears coming down. I could definitely relate to parts of the movie, very touching and heart-warming. The kids liked it, too. My 13 year old niece just said it had some sad parts in it. And my 8 year old nephew said it was "depressing" - lol. Luckily, neither my nephew nor niece read too much into my crying. ;) I definitely give the movie two thumbs up!
My husband and I got married in 2005 and tried to start our family back in January 2008. We started our 1st round of in-vitro in December 2010 - which is when this blog was started. Despite a near perfect cycle, it resulted in a negative pregnancy test in February 2011. We were fortunate to get 6 extra embryos from that cycle that were frozen. In March 2011 we started a Frozen Embryo Transfer cycle. Despite another great cycle (on paper), all 6 of our frozen embryos had to be thawed to get 2 good ones for transfer - which failed to result in a pregnancy. In 2012, we took the first half of the year off and then tried a couple rounds of IUI with and without fertility shots - still no baby. In 2013, we did our 2nd round of in-vitro with my sister offering to be our gestational carrier. We ended up transferring 2 embryos into each of us and were blessed to welcome 4 babies in October 2013.