Dr. Williams started off our meetings like always - shaking our hands and telling us how he's sorry that the last treatment didn't work. We sat down and he started going through the details of the last cycle and some of our other treatments we've tried. He said that even though nothing has worked yet, based on what's on paper - he still thinks that a cycle of in-vitro would be what he would recommend for us.
Then he asked us, "What are you all thinking?" And I responded with, "I just can't get pregnant..." He agreed that even though they haven't found a reason why - it is understandable that we would feel that way. Then I brought up my sister and her willingness to be a gestational carrier for us. And how the physical part of going through in-vitro is not the problem at all - but that I just don't think I could take it if we did another cycle of in-vitro and it didn't work again. I also told him that I've accepted the fact that I won't be pregnant and that I'm fine with someone else carrying our babies for us. He agreed that the emotional part of everything is a huge factor and didn't really push back at all. And he said that we do make "beautiful embryos" and that although there would be additional costs associated with having me sister be a part of it, it's not that much more in the whole scheme of things. He asked if my sister lived in-town and my husband responded with, "Yes, 7 houses down the street."
Gestational Carrier (GC): Once we were all on the same page, we got into the logistics of the whole gestational carrier route. As we though, both my sister and I would require shots throughout the cycle. I would need them to produce the eggs for the retrieval and she would need them to prepare her body for the embryo transfer. We were REALLY happy to hear that they would do a fresh transfer of the embryos into her. (Our concern was that if we had to freeze the embryos that there could be issues with them surviving the thaw - like with what happened during our frozen embryo transfer where they had to thaw 6 embryos to get 2 good ones to transfer.) I asked whether her insurance would cover her pregnancy costs and he said that they will - because she's pregnant and that they cover her. Which I was glad to hear and kinda what we were figuring - since insurance companies don't really make ladies prove that they're pregnant with their own babies. He did say that we would need to meet with a lawyer to draw up a contract - which he said within families, the whole legal process is pretty quick. He gave us some recommended lawyers in the area and said that they would make it so that there would be no adoption, our names would just be on the birth certificate from the beginning. We talked a little bit about how many embryos he would transfer - sounds like he would be willing to transfer 2 embryos into her, but he did say that it's ultimately her decision as to how many we can transfer - which makes perfect sense.
Double Transfer: As we were talking, I forget exactly when - but Dr. Williams brought up something that completely shocked me. He mentioned that depending on how many embryos we get and the quality of them, we may want to consider putting some embryos in me. I was like, "You mean- put some in me and put some in my sister?" And he said, "Yes - we could do that." My face was priceless, I'm sure. But we were both pretty excited to hear that - especially since we were thinking he may push back on the idea of using my sister. Never thought that he would suggest that. Although we haven't decided yet what we will do - it is nice to know that we have that option. We know that we 100% want to use my sister's womb first - so she would definitely get the embryos first. So we can wait and make it a game-time decision as to whether we want to transfer some into me. Of course, if we go that route - we need to accept the risk of having multiple babies very close in age. If we transfer two embryos into each of us - then that could potentially be four babies. After trying to have babies so long - it's hard to imagine that would happen to us. But it is a risk we would be willing to take. And since we are so close - it's hard not to get excited about the thought of both of us being pregnant with our babies. We would like to have more than one baby - so receiving them all in one year doesn't sound too bad, after our long wait. Dr. Williams mentioned a couple times that we could put one in my sister and two in me. The good news is that we have plenty of time to think this through.
Next Steps for the GC Plan: So you may be wondering - now what?!?! The next step is for my sister to meet with Dr. Williams. He told us that he is going to be her doctor, too. And will be looking out for her best interest in all of this as well. She actually did meet him briefly back in 2010 when I had my laparoscopy. Throughout the past few treatments she has said on multiple occasions that she'd love to just go talk to him and pick his brain. So now she will get her chance. :) The main purpose of that meeting is to make sure that she knows what she's getting into and talk her through the details of the cycle. Assuming she's still on board after that - then we all need to meet with their counselor, Barbara, to make sure we're all emotionally ready for this roller coaster ride. We will meet with the counselor separately - them together and then us. We met with Barbara prior to our in-vitro cycle and had a nice chat with her then. Assuming everyone is still onboard after that, then we will start the pre-cycle testing. Dr. Williams referred to as forensic STD testing on all 4 of us - to make sure we're all clean and good to go. At some point we will also have to give them a copy of the contract that we work out with the lawyer - not sure if that has to happen before the testing or not. And I'm pretty sure that my husband and I will need to put down a deposit for the treatment cycle. ;) After all that is completed, then we will have the green light for the in-vitro cycle - with the plans to transfer the embryos into my sister and possibly even me. Right now, we're thinking that we would start the in-vitro cycle at the end of December or early January. Such a crazy and exciting plan!!
Still No Whammies! It's really weird - but my period has still yet to show up. I had some really light spotting on the day of my husband's cousin's wedding and I thought that was the start of the period. But it never turned into a full period - which is odd, I'm normally like clock-work. Anyway, I told Dr. Williams that I seem to be quite a few days late - but that my test earlier this week was negative. He said it was good that I took a test and that if it doesn't show up by next week that I should do a blood test. Nancy gave me a lab order form for the beta test - she was telling me to go on Wed/Thurs of next week, then said, "Oh, just go whenever you want." She probably thinks I was going to go that day - but you all know how weird I am about waiting. One of my friends told me it's not weird, I'm just patient. ;) My plan is to go on Wednesday, if I don't get my period by then. I'm honestly not expecting to be pregnant - just hard to believe that after all this, that we would get pregnant on our own. Of course, I would be thrilled if that were the case - but I'm not holding my breath. For the in-vitro and frozen embryo transfers, I worked from home on the days of the best test - because I didn't want to break-down at work if it was negative. But I will plan to go into work and will be fine with the negative news. I may just break-down if by some miracle it's actually positive. So I'll keep you all posted - but don't get your hopes up too high, okay?
Anyway, that's how our appointment went today. :) We are really excited... I think I'm probably a little more excited that I should be. Hopefully the counselor will help to bring my expectations down to more acceptable levels - but I'm REALLY excited about 2013. I've been trying to not set deadlines on our baby-making plans, but I really think that 2013 will be our year to become parents. We are so lucky to have an amazing gestational carrier that is onboard with our plan. And even though I thought my chances of getting pregnant were behind us, it is kinda nice to think that I may get to experience it. Oh, and just like we predicted before our appointment - Nancy commented on my hair again, saying how cute it is. Hee, hee! ;)
In closing, I'd like to share this song that we heard down in Georgia last weekend. We had a lovely weekend with Josclyn and her parents and heard this song at their church. I ended up buying the church's CD this week on iTunes. Hope you enjoy the lyrics and the song if you'd like to hear it. Good night! :)
You are light in the darkness,
You are hope for the hopeless,
You are the God who never fails!
You are soul of compassion,
You are love everlasting,
You are the God who never fails!
And through it all, your love never changes.
Through it all, there's nothing to fear.
Your name we're lifting higher,
Your glory, our desire,
Your praise we'll sing forever,
Our Great God! Our Great God!