Over the weekend I started to worry that my period was going to show up before my blood test after the 2ww. With past attempts, it never failed that my period always seemed to show up the day before I was supposed to take a test. On Sunday evening, I started noticing some very light spotting. Typically that is the sign that my period is going to arrive the next day. Monday morning I didn't want to get up and go to the bathroom - in case there was something I didn't want to see. But there was nothing. At work that day, I dreaded going to the bathroom - afraid of what I might see. I was clear in the morning, but in the afternoon right before a 3 o'clock meeting - I saw exactly what I didn't want to see.... some blood! :( I was devastated - here was another period mocking me. With my meeting starting in less than 5 minutes, I didn't have time for a pity party and had to keep it together. Of course when I opened up the door to my stall a pregnant co-worker was washing her hands! I was able to put on a happy face though and go to my meeting.
Now in all of the books I've read and the information from my doctor, it says that some women may experience cramping and vaginal spotting/bleeding following the transfer. They tell us to continue our progesterone shots despite that until the nurse tells us to stop. And that we must come in for the blood tests regardless of any spotting or menstrual like symptoms. Even knowing this, since I didn't really have any spotting/bleeding right after the transfer - I guess I thought that I wouldn't have that. And after having so many months of period-after-period showing up, the last thing you want to see during this waiting stage is anything that remotely resembles a period.
After my meeting, of course I googled all sorts of phrases to try to see if this really was common. I found many discussion threads on the subject. As you may have guessed, some ladies that had bleeding before their first test did get pregnant and others didn't. The weird thing was that when I went to the bathroom before I left work that day - there was no blood. I was glad that it wasn't continuing like a normal period, but kinda chalked it up to my system just being messed up after the IVF treatment.
When I got home and told my husband, I had a little breakdown. Things have been going so well that I just thought this was maybe our cue to bring down our hopes and a little reality check that things may not work out the way we wanted. It's just so scary to think that this may not end the way we want. He comforted me and reminded me that they said this is normal and that we just have to wait for Thursday to know for sure. I knew he was right and hearing that made me feel better. He gave me my progesterone shot and we went to baby-sit our nephew for a few hours.
This morning I was dreading getting up and going to the bathroom - but when I finally got the courage to do so, I was happy to find nothing. Throughout the whole day today there was no blood, just a little spotting - which I had come to accept as "normal." I called our nurse - even though I knew what she would say. But just hearing her say what the books and the forms had said - made me feel even better. She reassured me that it doesn't mean anything and said that some women bleed off/on throughout their first 12 weeks.
So despite a little scare yesterday, we are back to being excited and hopeful for a good outcome for my blood test on Thursday. Just two more nights to go! Some couples can't wait and decide to do a home pregnancy test before the blood test. We've decided to just wait for the blood test - since that will be more accurate than any home test. No need to get upset over nothing if we can avoid it. I worked it out with my manager so that I can work-from-home on Thursday afternoon, definitely do not want to be getting my results in my cube at work!
Regardless of the results of Thursday's blood test (good/bad), they have me scheduled for another blood test on Monday (Valentine's Day). If Monday's test continues to show no pregnancy, then they will schedule us a follow-up consultation with Dr. Williams in 2-3 weeks to review our cycle and talk about next steps. If Monday's test continues to look good for a pregnancy, they will schedule additional follow-up blood tests and then schedule our first ultrasound for sometime in early March.
Even though I'll continue to journal my thoughts over the next week or two, I will probably hold off on publishing the posts until we are ready to share the news good/bad. To our family & friends, we promise to tell you when we're ready. We appreciate all of the love & support thus far and we know you will all be there for us no matter what happens.
In closing, we did have a pretty big round of lay-offs at my company today. Fortunately, I was safe - but I know many co-worker friends that were not as lucky. So everyone please keep them in your thoughts/prayers that they will find other opportunities quickly. Good night!