We were first ones to meet with Barbara - while Oliver entertained his parents in the waiting room. We actually already met with Barbara once back in 2010 - when we were going through our in-vitro cycle. But we know she meets with lots of folks, so we definitely didn't expect her to remember us. She started out just asking us to tell her about how long we've been trying and what we've already tried. So I told her how we've been trying for 5 years and gave a brief summary of the different tests, procedures, and surgeries we've tried through the years. Then we told her how we're ready to move on to this next step with the help of my sister. She asked whether we asked her or whether she offered. We told her that my sister had offered to do this years ago - before we were even really considering it. And how we figured it wouldn't come to this - but that we are at that point now where we would like some help. My husband mentioned how we live on the same street, 7 houses down. She was glad to hear that we live so close. She also asked us what scared us the most about going forward with this. I mentioned the fact that we may be a little numb to the "risk of multiples" warnings that we're getting - only because we've heard it for so many procedures and nothing has worked so far. We are aware of the risk and that we know having any more than 1 baby at once would be quite crazy. But as my husband has said many times before, "We're ready for a new set of problems." And we are sure we have no idea what we would be in store for - but we are up for the challenge and know we have lots of family/friends that would be there to help us with their love and support. My husband brought up his concern being that if things didn't work, he didn't want my sister to feel like she let us down. And Barbara said that she probably would feel like she let us down - but we just have to remember that none of us control what's going to happen. After that, we switched and went out to hang out with Oliver while Barbara met with my sister and her hubby.
Their conversation with Barbara also went well. She started off her time with them talking about what a wonderful thing it was for them to want to help us out. And I think they talked about what it's been like for them (and the rest of you) to watch us go through this the past 5 years. Barbara talked to them about how open they would be with people - if she does get pregnant with our baby. I guess if they didn't tell anyone what was going on - then people would (of course) just assume that it was their baby. So then if all of a sudden she's not pregnant anymore and there's no baby - then people may wonder if the baby died or whether they gave it up for adoption, etc... But they told Barbara that they will be quite open with people about what's going on and whose baby it is. They also talked about their older son, Wendel. And she said they would just have to figure out the best way to tell him - so that he understands from the very beginning that it's not his baby brother/sister, but that it's his baby cousin. And to be prepared for strangers at the store to ask him if it's his baby brother/sister - again, assuming that it's their baby. They also talked about how the recovery after having the baby may be a little different, since she won't necessarily have a little newborn baby at home to take care of to distract her. Barbara actually recommended them planning a trip to Disney World afterwards - to give her something fun to look forward to. And my brother-in-law jumped in with an alternative suggestion, "How about some new dish towels?" ;) My sister said that it would probably be a little hard if she was never going to see the baby again - if she was doing this for a stranger that lives out-of-state. But since it will be her niece/nephew that she'll get to visit and be an aunt to for the rest of their lives - she thinks it will be fine. They also talked about the scenario of if it doesn't work - which we all know would be super-devastating. But she said it would be a little different for them - since they will be much more involved in the whole process.
And we wrapped up our counseling session by meeting with Barbara all together as one big, happy family! She talked about the legal aspect and asked if we have someone who has a lot of experience with this type of legal work. I told her that we were going with a friend that found a gestational carrier template online. My sister clarified that it wasn't just a friend - but that our friend is also an attorney. And I told her that it included terms about what happens if something happens to us if she does get pregnant. We all agreed that they would keep the baby - which is THE ONLY way my brother-in-law has agreed to have any more kids. ;) Then she brought up how there are so many tests that can be done while someone is pregnant and that ultimately it's our decision as to what happens to the baby, even if my sister is carrying it. And she just wanted to make sure we had talked about that scenario. This was a scenario that we hadn't really thought to discuss - but I said that I couldn't think of any test result that would make us not want our baby. And my husband chimed in saying something along the lines of "beggars can't be choosers, right?" ;)
Donor Paperworks: After our counseling session, my sister and I went next-door with my husband to the lab where they do all of the sperm collection and embryo testing/freezing/storing/thawing. He just needed to turn in his paperwork with his physical results and all of his extensive family healthy history. There were also a few forms that the 3 of us needed to sign in the presence of them - so we got that taken care of. The next steps are for them to call my husband have him come in to give his collection - for them to test and freeze for our cycle.
The Whammies have arrived! So my last period started back on 10/6 and the past week or so, I've been on the look out for my whammies. (Now believe you me, I would love for nothing more than for us to get pregnant on our own before we start this big cycle. But looking at our track record - I don't get my hopes up for the non-treatment cycles. No doubt I would be beyond pumped if I got pregnant - but figure I can just get excited if it does happen and not be uber-disappointed when it doesn't happen naturally.) My period showed up on Saturday - which in a weird way, I was kinda excited about - only because I'm excited to get our plan going. So tomorrow, I'm going to go to LabCorb to see my buddy and get my blood drawn for the whole slew of tests that are on my lab order sheet. Some of the tests are to make sure my body is still good to go for the in-vitro cycle (specifically the egg retrieval piece). And the others are to make sure I'm nice and clean - since part of me may go into my sister as an embryo. Assuming that my tests are all good then we just have to get my husband's collection/testing piece completed and get a contract signed. Then we'll be good to go to start with my next cycle. It was about 6 weeks between the start of my last two periods. So if my cycle is about the same number of days this cycle, that would put us at starting the cycle at the end of December. Pretty exciting! ;) Good night!