Last time, I worked from home the day after the beta test. But today I decided that I needed to go into the office due to the fact that I won't be in the office much the rest of this week and since I was out on Friday & yesterday afternoon. Tomorrow my team is having an off-site meeting - which is just a work meeting that's not taking place at work. Thursday morning I'm going to work in the morning from home and then take the rest of the afternoon and Friday off. My husband is in a good friend's wedding on Friday - so we're heading up on Thursday for the rehearsal dinner. Some of our Charlotte friends will be there as well - so we are looking forward to hanging out with them and having the wedding as a nice distraction this week. What would we do without all of our wonderful and happy distractions lately?
On my way to work, I had to stick to the radio - didn't want to risk listening to my care package CDs (from Hi Puppy!) and breaking down. When I was waiting to turn into the street that our office is on, my co-worker/friend Elphie happened to turn in right before we and waved. It was good to see a friendly face - though I admit I almost got a few tears. I ran into her on the stairs - but I was okay then. :) I was pretty busy most of the day - catching up on emails and getting some work done in the morning. I had a bunch of meetings scheduled in the afternoon - but some of them were cancelled by the other parties, so it gave me more time to get more work done. You'd think I would've been more distracted and less motivated to do work after getting such news yesterday, but I was actually really productive. I'm guessing that perhaps I was throwing myself into my work as part of a coping mechanism. I ended up working until 6:30pm. It took me about 8 tries (at least) to record my out-of-office message for the rest of this week on my phone. It took me awhile to figure out the best way to let people know that I'll be out on Wednesday, in Thursday morning, and out the rest of the weekend until Tuesday. Now that I type it out - it seems so simple - why couldn't I just say that? :) I also got a few encouraging/supportive texts & emails throughout the day - which were nice to read. Thanks to some emails I received, I have another good quote and more lyrics to share with you in a future post.
My hubby said that his workday wasn't too busy today - but he did do laundry. Not so sure that laundry is a great distraction - but hopefully his day didn't drag too badly for him. He had golf league tonight, so I'm sure it was good for him to get out and get some fresh air. He stopped by my sister's house after he was done and then we headed home together. At least the Reds pulled off a victory today. They lost last night and I was like, "Man, we can't win anything today - can we?"
My one co-worker friend on my team came in my cube today and greeted me with a "Hey mama." Now that I think about it, she does greet me like that quite often. Just stung a little bit today - but she doesn't know, so it's not like it was intentional or anything. Later in the morning when she stopped by my cube, she was asking me if everything was okay and said that I didn't seem quite like myself today. I think I was able to fool most people into thinking I was fine, but I guess she wasn't buying it. I told her that I was fine though. And she was like, "Are you sure?" And I said, "Yep, I'll be okay." During lunch we had to run errands for a summer work event coming up in June. While we were in the car she asked again if I was okay. And I said that I was okay. She asked if stuff was going on at home. And I just said, "Yeah, but I'll be okay." Of course she let me know that she was always there for me if I ever wanted to talk - which I did appreciate of course. So I just thanked her for the offer. I do appreciate her care & concern - but I'd just rather not have anyone at work (besides Elphie) know what's going on. Then we talked about how she's good at reading people and she actually went into another story about she was able to read other people quickly. Whew!
On the way home I talked to my cousin - so nice to chat with her. Even though she didn't think she knew what to say - she said all of the right things. After work I went to my sister's house and got to visit with them and get a big hug from my big sister. Oliver was looking so cute in one of Wendel's old outfits. It was nice to cuddle with Oliver and smell his head - babies smell so good!! :) Wendel was excited to play with me. It was nice to be able to pick up Wendel again! I ended up taking him to Giant Eagle with me to pick up some fruit for a fruit salad that I made for my team off-site tomorrow. I may not be able to make a baby - but I make a mean fruit salad. ;)
The rest of yesterday we were just hanging out downstairs and letting the news sink in. My hubby worked the rest of the afternoon, but I took the afternoon off. I was mostly just napping or crying off/on and texting with friends. I didn't really see my hubby crying yesterday - though I know he was hurting, too. Lots of hugs and lots of "I love you"s were exchanged, of course. Later in the evening I was able to be more productive and clean up the kitchen a little bit. We actually got some pretty bad storms last night - which I thought were kind of fitting for how we were feeling. I was feeling a little better by the end of the night- but of course when I laid down to go to bed - the negative results were all I could think about and the tears just started flowing. My hubby was holding me tight and eventually I was able to fall asleep. The first night is always the roughest!
Tomorrow I have to go to the lab for my 2nd beta test. It's really just a formality - from the beginning they tell us that even if the 1st test is negative they will ask us to come back in for the 2nd test to be sure. Last time I asked if the 2nd test ever changes and the nurse told me no. So I didn't even bother asking the nurse this time around. When my mom stopped by yesterday afternoon, she was being really cute & supportive and asking if maybe there was still hope for Wednesday's test. But I told her there was no hope. I like her positive way of thinking though and her attempt to try to make things better. My dad stopped by last night and brought over some food. He told us that he's proud of us and that they're behind us no matter what going forward. My hubby texted his mom yesterday afternoon to let them know the results and they were so sorry to hear the news as well. I'm sure as parents, it probably hurts them even more to see us so upset and not be able to do anything to make it right.
Thanks to everyone for all of the love and support through your thoughts, prayers, hugs, phone calls, texts, emails, and secret Facebook posts (EW). Good night!