She asked me to tell my husband what I'm going to need to get through the rest of this IVF cycle - I got a little choked up, but said that I just needed him to be with me and support me and that he has been doing that already. She then talked to him about how saying "it's not a big deal" can do more damage to a woman and that sometimes saying "Wow - that's a lot of shots you're having to take." can go a long way. (I feel like he's been very empathetic with me already, but he said a few of her lines on the car ride home which was cute.) And she also explained to me that although I'm the one having to go through the most - sometimes it's more difficult for the spouse that has to watch it all happen without having much control. She said if most people had to choose, they would want to be one going through it - instead of having to watch their loved one go through it. I had never really thought about that - but it makes sense. Sometimes I am glad to be the one getting the shots - because I think I would be more nervous about giving them to him.
We also talked about multiples - she asked if we were scared about the thought of twins. I told her that we weren't and my husband added that in a way if we get pregnant, we're probably expecting to have twins. She said some couples stress about the thought of twins, but she was glad that we weren't worrying about that. She did say that going through IVF is hard and a pregnancy with twins is also hard, and then when the twin babies arrive it's even harder - but after 3-4 months you get into your routine and things get better and it's all worth it in the end.
She also asked how many people know that we're going through this - which was something we were actually discussing on the car ride down to the office. She cautioned us on telling too many people because during this vulnerable time you don't want people calling all of the time and asking for updates and having to repeat yourself over and over can be exhausting - especially if it's on a day when you don't feel like talking. I told her about this blog and after telling her about it, she said that she actually thinks this is a great way for me to share updates with those I'm close with. Because it puts me in control and I can share as often as I wish and eliminates the need for me to have to repeat the story and explanations.
We also talked about the timing of everything after the embryo transfer. This whole time we've been thinking that the pregnancy test two weeks after the embryo transfer would be our answer to whether we were successful or not. But she cautioned us to think of the first ultrasound (5 weeks after the embryo transfer) as our more definitive answer as to whether or not it was successful. Of course the first trimester is risky just like any other pregnancy - but from her perspective that ultrasound is the more definitive answer. And if all looks good - they will send me back to my regular doctor for the rest of the pregnancy.
Later in the conversation we talked about what happens if this doesn't work. Even though we're super excited - I think we both understand and remain cautiously optimistic that it may not work. Of course it will be horrible for awhile - but I know that we will pull together and make it through somehow. She did say that couples are given challenges in life and that this is our challenge and that what's more important than the outcome of the challenge is how we deal with it together. I'm lucky to have my husband and I know that no matter what, we'll make it through this.
Towards the end of our session she suggested that after the embryo transfer that we should find things to do to keep our mind off of the waiting game as much as possible. She said it's sometimes hard because I'm not supposed to be too active during that time. I told her that I had a TON of scrapbooking to catch up on and that we have been recording lots of movies - so we are all prepared to hang out.
Her closing advice was to just stay happy and to be positive. And I do feel pretty happy about the whole thing thus far - probably because everything has gone well so far. I told her that everything so far has been pretty "easy." And she said that the IVF process is by no means easy - but that our attitude is making it seem easy to us. So I guess we will just keep up with the positive vibes and hope for the best!
Just a little heads up to my family and friends following via this blog - I'm sure that I'll be posting pretty frequently from now until the egg retrieval and even up until the embryo transfer. But after that, I may not post for awhile - just so we can deal with the results of the post-transfer tests good or bad on our own. We know that everyone is rooting for us and we appreciate it more than you'll ever know - but we'll let you know the final results good/bad when we're ready. Don't worry, we won't forget to tell you! :)